Sense of belonging

Today, I finally started my first class as a dance student. Last night I couldn't get much sleep. Mostly it was anxiety and excitement all combined. Excitement because I'm finally doing what I'm doing. Anxiety because even until yesterday I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision. When I signed my acceptance letter for the school, I think I signed it with one eye closed. I knew that I wanted to dance, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it to satisfy my emotion or because I really wanted to do it. I think the thing that made me question everything was the hard work that I know I had to put in.

Now that I had my first day of class, I have to say, I really think the dance classes were alright. I mean they were good; they gave me the skills and technicality that I need and I'm lacking, but like I said, they are mostly hard work and they make my body sore. Besides, for the classes I just had to follow some routines, and they don't exactly make me jump in joy.

All that changes when my performance project "class" started. It was a collaborative class between all the performing arts (dance, music, theatre), and in the next few weeks, we are going to put together a performance. We had discussions... long discussions of the topic we are going to have and the director came with this concept that I absolutely love and at that moment, I remembered why I wanted to do this in the first place.

I love love love the process of creating a performance. I love the conceptual discussions. I love the brainstorming. Yes, it will be frustrating working with a lot of different people, but the end result will be so amazing that all the arguing and frustration will be worth it. I cannot wait to choreograph something for the performance. I absolutely love performing and being on stage inside a theatre.

And like I said to my ballet instructor today, I want to dance because I want to perform and inspire people.
And today I was reminded why in the first place I love the performing arts so much. I finally got that sense of belonging. I belong in the process, in the theatre, on the stage. And now I know I made the right decision.